I will

I will not dance for you or sing for you
I will not make art and my tell stories or share
my world for you

I will not look how you want me to look
I will not be who you want me to be, or make
the choices you want me to make

I will not value the things you want me to

I am not how you define me 
I will not be how you define me

I will not be your project or your cause
I will not be the source of your career,
your mission, or the source of your inspiration

I am not here for you 
I will not serve you, your ideas or your

I will not “be strategic” or soften my
words to make you comfortable 

 I will not “be happy” to make you feel better 

I am not here to make you safe 

I am not here to make you comfortable 
I am not here to make you comfortable 
I am not here to make you comfortable 

I will be what I am
I will be defined by me

{I sometimes feel like I live in a parallel universe or alternate reality. When I get like this, the world can feel hopeless, movement forward is paralysed, my brain feels like it’s imploding. Instead of moving forward we are moving backwards or remain still or in limbo. The triggers can be random. Today it was thinking further about Brandis’s announcement about the amendment to parts of the Racial Discrimination Act to prevent another Eatock v Bolt. The second trigger was a Facebook update by a sistah who was impacted by serious racism this morning. I will move forward eventually. Perhaps tomorrow. }

2 thoughts on “I will”

  1. Stay positive. Lots of fantastic things in the murk, two of your sistah workers at the chalkface doing better than nicely, one is one of our Senior captains. The other has done a great Year 12! Second worker sent me the best thank you email. My heart soared. Was going to comment on the Melbourne Cup post. Whole-heartedly agree, it's a scourge. More harm than good. I am only interested in the frock-up, which really isn't congruent, I know.
    Keep up your good work. X

    1. Thanks Flora. I was think about what I wrote – it's more of a manifesto I think. To remind myself that I don't have to by others feel comfortable. I'm prone to it you know – programmed to be nice, accommodating, always always always thinking about others first. Not that they're bad traits to have, it's just that it sometimes means that my ideas and wishes take second place.

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