Saturday diary entry

Another restless night with my brain going ‘twenty to the dozen’. I was awake at 6.30 because I’d forgotten to turn off my parkrun alarm. As much as I tried I just couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got up and was at my desk by 7am. Managed to smash out four solid hours of work. I shouted myself a nanna-nap and slept until 3 which was awesome. But when I went back to my desk I could barely see my screen. My eyes were just so sore.

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nostalgia & melancholy

i listen to the radio a lot. when I’m in the car. at home. i tend to listen to stations like 4BH 882, 4KQ. sometimes when i hear songs, I’m transported back to other times and other places. i can’t describe the feeling i get – it’s weird – it’s in my head and in my gut. it’s a nostalgia i think. it’s often such an early memory i can’t even remember an event or people associated with it. but i know it’s from the past, a time that no longer exists. i occasionally get it when i look hard at old photos as well.

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On coming good

It’s been a bit if a dark patch. I think I’m coming good, though having the winter lurgies isn’t helping my state of mind. Thinking about and analysing (and probably over-analysing) the triggers, stressing about the avoided responsibilities, pretending nothing’s wrong with smiles and “upbeat”, are all part of a long time rhythm for me. Continue reading On coming good